Wednesday, November 4, 2009

There's Just Something About You

So once upon a time I went on an accidental date. It was innocent, really, just 2 friends meeting up to de-stress over drinks. Then, somewhere around glass #5 it turned into an all out party where I ended up drinking in the back of a car drinking a bottle of vino performing as the sole member in my own dance party. Before midnight I was struck in the head by the gremlin of drunkeness and my friend started to look more pretty than usual. By three in the morning I was wearing my sweatpants and a shirt that seemingly appeared on my body and by 3:35 I was cruising around in dreamland.

The next morning I was kissed awake and, without hesitation, I kissed back. I would like to concur with Mr. Foxx and "blame it on the alcohol" but I think the thoughts of my friend being pretty seemed more viable in the A.M. than they were the previous evening. This went on in fits and spurts for almost an entire day, mostly because 1.) I was too hungover to move and 2.) We were having Extreme Napping competitions (and itall stopped abruptly once I puked). None of this is abnormal, obviously, I've heard of worse stories coming out of a night of drunken debauchery. It was what my friend said as my brain was giving birth to a migraine,"You're not even really my type...I don't know why...there's just something about you."

Hardly flattering, but hardly surprising, either.

Its funny to listent to guys talk about what they prefer in a female. I've heard it all, I think, ad nauseum. I can almost fill in the blanks before they even start speaking.

"I'm an ___ (boobs, ass, legs, teeth, vagina) man."
"I prefer ____ (blondes, brunettes, red heads, anything)."
"The chick has to be ____ (athletic, petite, curvy, fat) chicks."
"I like 'em ___ (tanned, light skin, dark skin)."
"I love ___ (asians girls, hispanic chicks, white girls, black girls)."
"She must be ___ (younger, older, much older) than me."
"I love it when they're ___ (easy, hard to get, promiscuous, fucking crazy, virginal, nuns)."

The lists are practically endless and I'm sure there are options that I don't want to know exist but in the end it all comes down to men generally just loving women.

I've never really categorized myself by any particulars, mostly because that's too time-consuming and not very fun (unless you're on match.com or something and its a requirement). My favorite part is when someone is spouting off his/her preference in females none of it is ever applicable to moi but once they get to know me, all hats are off and I've heard (more than once),"You blew my world apart." and "You're the best I've ever had." and "There will only ever be one you." and "You're unforgettable."and "You're all I've ever wanted." and. and. and. And somehow I end up single with a scroll full of complaints in my hand and a John Deere letter in the other. If thats not confusing then I don't know what is.

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