Thursday, April 1, 2010

X

The internet has made things so accessible that there is nowhere to hide. Anyone can talk to everyone. No barriers. No boundaries. No closure. No escape.

The X caught me on in his cyberweb and I could feel the loneliness seeping through the cracks. He always called me " the one that got away". Our passion was insurmountable, I've never felt anything like it since. Every time we're around each other it feels as if two points of the universe finally saw it's mirror image and everything just made sense. Now we're apart and absolutely nothing does. I don't believe it ever will. But we were too young, too unprepared. We tried three times to make it work and were always left with a parched tongue.

There are things that hide and wait

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now:

1. i know you're lonely. and that it's my fault. for that i am sorry.
2. you go through men like socks. they continue to treat you like nothing. i wonder if you'll ever be happy.
3. i think you love me. i'm not sure though. sometimes i think you don't know what love is. and then i remember: neither do i.
4. really wish you lived closer. you got me through those dark times. i still love your hugs.
5. someday i hope someone does to you what you did to me.

TEN things about yourself:

1. i really like vanilla yoghurt.
2. i wish i could major in art/fashion, but i don't know what i would do with it.
3. i am THE procrastinator.
4. i don't have a head of hair- it's a MANE.
5. i am horribly dyslexic.
6. i am a complete insomniac- but i don't mind.
7. i come from a very mixed background.
8. i love getting dressed every morning.
9. i wear very little makeup.
10. i like the mountains better than the beach.

SEVEN ways to win your heart:

1. love me for who i am.
2. don't tell me what to do.
3. kiss me on the forehead and tell me you missed me.
4. talk to me. teach me things. let me teach you things. do not condescend simply because i don't know. bet there are things you don't know, too.
5. be interested in whatever is unordinary.
6. love yourself even more when you're around me.
7. think logically and passionately.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

1. fuck. this.
2. soooo sleepy.
3. soooo hungry.
4. zzzzz.
5. i hate everyone.
6. wish i could teleport.
7. i hate you, weatherman.

FOUR things you do before you fall asleep:

1. surf le internet.
2. make myself a cup of tea (green tea with blueberry, please!)
3. do homework.
4. drink a giant glass of water.

FOUR things you see right now:

1. my toes.
2. my fingers.
3. my eyelashes (they're deceivingly long)
4. my empty tea cup.

THREE songs that you listen to often:

1. Quiet- This Will Destroy You
2. I'm Not Listening- The Used
3. Battery Point- Beak

TWO things you want to do before you die:

1. live in france.
2. be respected.

ONE confession:

1. i don't shower everyday.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Vagine Day




...also happy Nationally Getting Laid Day.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Do i love you?

I've been through this with every person I've ever dated. I feel like I'm 27 going on 57.

I've just come to realize that I am, at heart, a very restless soul. I know I love the people around me, I know I have loved and been loved in return but I have this tendency to question whether or not I've actually been IN love. With nothing to compare it to, I've simply dated to date and thus been in monogamous relationships my entire life.

The funny bit is that I don't even believe in monogamy. Humans are horrible to each other; we cheat, lie, steal, use and abuse each other to the point of questioning a different person because of what a previous person did. I enter into every relationship hesitatingly, cynically and with a jaded heart. Sometimes I wonder if I am, as an ex delicately put it, an emotional robot. I don't feel anything.

If you don't love the person you're dating, tell them. At least, in the end, you know you've been honest. Its not about letting THEM go if you love them, its about them letting YOU go because they love you. But I've always taken the safest route and uttered the two most harmless words,"I'm bored." There are so many people out there, its impossible not to wonder if you wouldn't have more fun with someone else. In the end I feel that its not about letting THEM go if you love them, its about them letting YOU go because they love you.